I was reading a book the other day in which the author was talking about her three children . She said that at times they seemed like one unit moving together, breaking apart for a while, but always coming back together again. They were each others best friends and didn’t like to be apart from each other. It reminds me of my own children.
I am sure that some psychologist out there would say that it is unhealthy, but I think that is how it should be. There is safety and security in family, those who share mom and dad and have the same eyes(at least in this house). When one child is gone for the day the balance is thrown off and no one is quite the same.
I think of a time when we had good friends for neighbors. Our neighbors were lovely christian people who shared many of our same values, but something began to happen. Certain of our children were not happy unless they were playing with certain neighbor children. Suddenly, our own family wasn’t core any more. I saw it happening and we discussed it several times and set limits on playtimes. I think it would have taken continual drawing back into our own if we hadn’t moved. After living in our new home for a couple of months, one of our older children even told me that she now realized what I had been trying to teach her and was enjoying her siblings again.
I am not saying don’t have friends or allow playdates. Not at all. Our children need to learn hospitality and to be a good host as well as a good guest. They need to learn to love in a community of believers and to care for one another; however, their central community needs to be with their own family. They need to look to their parents and sibling first before their friends. They should be content and find joy within their home with just their family and not think they always have to have a friend over or be with a friend to be enjoying their days. We, as parents, need to foster that love and security that comes from living in a family that works and plays together forming a bond that can’t be broken.
